How far from God do you need to be, how much disdain of the world and all that is beautiful do you have to bring to life a creation than could only be in the mind of a cosmic entity such as Yog-Sothoth, the all-knowing god.

All things considered, you need to pay attention that

• It has a proper packaging. Why is this important? Because creating a custom package is NOT cheap, so he or she had a lot of faith that the bugkisser was going to sell like pancakes
• It was designed by someone, quite probably a madman
• There’s a factory somewhere, possibly in Hell, that accepted to manufacture this product. Would love to have been part of the conversation
• The logo is REGISTERED, which, again, costs money

Now, the product. Do you love lizards, as in get-married-love? Why would someone need to kiss a lizard? If this is true, then, are conspiracies about Lizard-people real, conspiracies that the government has been trying to disqualify and it’s been real all this time?! Have we been living under a lie?

Why does this madman Doctor want to kiss a clearly male insect with the face of that girl from Disney’s Snow White?

Is the creator married to a lizard, kisses his lizard wife before going to his 9 to 5 day job, and plays in the backyard with their lizard kids? Does he have lizard friends and parents? That’s the only way one can explain why this product has received reviews.

The offices are located in the sunny state of Florida, which surprisingly enough is home to a ton of Death Metal bands and grumpy people.

Surely a Conspiracy rating: 11/10

Link to the depths of Hell: www.amazon.com/Bugkiss-L…

There’s no public record of a discussion Matisse had with someone:

Henri Matisse is supposed to have encountered someone who complained that the arm of a woman in one of his portraits was too long. “Madam, you are mistaken,” he replied. “This is not a woman, this is a painting.”

So, this is not the drawing of a man, this is Art. This is not someone you give as an ordinary gift exchange in a Yankee swap, this is meant to be kept. And inherited.

How many years will have to pass before these can holder is displayed in a museum next to The Kiss by Klimt, or why not, next to the Mona Lisa. And will robbers try to steal it as they recently did at the Louvre?

The artist chose a can cooler as her canvas - inspiration can happen anytime, anywhere - “Yes! a can cooler will be my canvas!” she shouted, and started painting the face of someone, maybe someone familiar, maybe her husband, maybe her lover, to be immortalized forever. Grabbed some strands of her own hair, sacrificing her luscious and beautiful hair for the love of her life.

Modernism, Matisse included, had the same fate, at first all of them were disqualified from displaying their paintings at any art gallery; the paintings were considered garish and in bad taste, and only later were Modernists redeemed. I expect one day to write a public apology and eat my own words.

Link if you dare: www.amazon.com/dp/B0F3PH…

Peace out